» Here’s my movie pitches

socialismandnakedpeople:

GHOST PHONE:
So basically this is about a guy who has a ghost that keeps calling him and he’s getting really paranoid and starts turning on his friends and isolates himself from everyone he knows. His life starts crumbling around him. Comedy Ensues. Once he’s rock bottom he leaves himself a voice mail warning himself about the ghost and he realizes that it wasn’t a ghost at all. It was him in the future. So it wasn’t a ghost phone. It was a TIME PHONE.

SNOW PROBLEM:
The President of the United States (Nicolas Cage) and the Prime Minister of Canada (Jim Carrey) go up north for a world leaders summit and have to bunk together in a log cabin. Soon, a storm comes and they are snowed in together and start going stir crazy. Once they contact the Park Ranger (Steve Buscemi) to help them out they find out that he’s crazy and plans to murder/eat them. Comedy ensues.

BILL MURRAY:
The movie starts with Bill Murray (as himself) signing on to be in Space Jam then flashes back to long ago a man (Jesse Eisenberg) wished he was everything he wasn’t, a perfect human. He meets a wizard (Rip Torn) who turns him into an entity called Bill Murray. First everything is great, he makes some choice films. Soon he realizes he doesn’t want to be Bill Murray anymore as the daily struggles of being one of the best comedy actors of our time gets to him. After he signs on for Garfield he wants out and has to seek out the wizard to change him back. Comedy ensues.

BEAR COP:
A lone cop (Norm Macdonald) has to stand up against the menace that is bears doing people crimes, such as robbing banks and bombing trains. His chief calls him a loose cannon, his children are afraid of him, and his wife eventually leaves him. All he has is his fight against the bears. He soon sees a conspiracy with the bears and reveals that the entire city is in on it. Everyone. Is. Bears.

BEAR COP 2: BEAR FIGHT:
The lone cop has to put an end to this bear menace once and for all. It starts with the police and reaches as far as his own home. His entire world was crafted by bears disguised as humans. He calls up the CIA and FBI and the refuse to do anything. He’s alone in a world of bears. In the end he looks deep into a mirror and finds out that he himself was a bear.

BEAR COP 3: BEARTASTROPHE:
A man’s downward cycle after he finds out that he was a bear. The world hates him and he hates himself, he decides the only way out is suicide. The man dies devastated and alone. His past friends, family, and colleagues come to his funeral and reveal they were humans all along, trying to teach him that bears weren’t evil, knowing that he was a bear in a human’s world.

(Source: shenanagrams)

1. samadversity reblogged this from shittyemery and added:

   BEAR COP MY GOD

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    This now at 200 notes. All of you reading should donate or tell your friends to donate!

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