January 2012
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aishahugs:
wow it’s not 2012 here yet jerks. spoiler warnings anyone??
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My cat had to wait for his dinner until my nails were dry so he started chewing on my laptop
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Things that will happen tonight:
johnnyrockhard:
I will moan and complain about how I hate everything and everyone
And about how life sucks
And how I don’t want to go to peoples’ parties ANYWAYS
then I will realize that I do
Get ready in a hurry
Run out door
Have perfectly fantastic time and forget about everything I was bitching about earlier
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December 2011
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hyminh:
RIP 2011
2011-2011
A wizard leaves Cleveland traveling at an average...
bigtuboflaird:
Precisely when he means to.
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We thought my Dad was talking about ketchup but he was actually talking about Catch Up, some tv program.
“Do you know about ketchup” uh please, me and ketchup are tight.
Since I cannot drink I think I will go buy a cartoon of eggnog and giant bottle of low sodium V8 tomorrow.
2012 is gonna be a good year, I can feel it
seeyalaterbaconator:
it’s really hot to bath with the love of your life
that’s why i need to get a waterproof laptop already
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thekweebird:
polkadotpengy replied to your photo: Hi Tori I love you I can’t wait for you to be here…
You promised mini donuts yesterday! D:
I know! But then we were having a dance party and it was distracting, and then I was drunk.
Drunken Donuts. We’re opening up a chain soon.
Please do this for me, please god bring this to pass. Baruch atah Adonai etc etc I want this one real bad, big man
...
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sourcechelseawoosh:
can someone send me the lyrics to the jigglypuff song
Kid Cudi gets too high.
rapindustryfanfiction:
Kid Cudi was ready to run the gamut tonight. The gamut of pot. He had his bong laid out, plus a plate of weed brownies, plus his gas mask bong thingy that he had first seen in Knocked Up. He was gonna get so high, dude. So. High.
He took his first hit off of the bong, navigated his browser to megaupload.com, and found an illegal stream of The Sitter, starring Jonah...
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benny4lava:
tobiasfunkesjeancutoffs:
getting a handjob instead of a blowjob is like getting a like instead of a reblog
or reading this post instead of a better post
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Anyways in the past week I learned that my cat likes V8 enough to try and drink mine
Piting my cat lady love against my vegetable love is like tearing my heart in two
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Thinking of mildly clever things to say after you’ve already sent a message—
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tlyudacris:
tumblr has gone full on mafia with this shit
hello! it seems that you are using a browser hack…. it’d be a shame if something bad were to happen to you and your blog…
be a reeeaaallll shame…
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Be Careful This New Year's Eve
fakescience:
stankubrick:
jpegartifacts:
We should illegalise masturbation for men because every single one of those sperm is a potential life just dying on your sheets. How would you feel if you were launched out of your existence and everything you could be and splattered into oblivion?
I’m hiring a writer to pen a poem for the anti-masturbatory cause from the point of view of a sperm cell. “Daddy,...
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wutangflan replied to your post: And honestly same for periods though I don’t…
tampax
And honestly same for periods though I don’t personally think uterine lining sounds like a fun cooking ingredient.
….Who you gon call?
Revised opinion: I ain’t fraid of no nips
everets:
how many gag did you say? 9? well, that seems a bit much.
stormcloud:
can you imagine how many people wouldnt have seen that movie if it was called Girl With The Marilyn Monroe Quote Tattoo
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My stomach hurts. I’m gonna go somewhere where there aren’t hot dog nipples and period blood cookies, I am in no mood!
*flounces, exits dramatically*
